My grandma passed away 3 years ago

 

# My Grandma Passed Away 3 Years Ago: Reflections on Love, Loss, and Memory

It’s been three years since my grandma passed away. Time has a strange way of moving slowly and quickly at the same time. Some days it feels like she just left yesterday, and other days it feels like I’ve lived an entire lifetime without her presence. Losing someone we love deeply is never easy, and the passing of a grandparent brings its own unique mixture of grief, nostalgia, and reflection.

In this post, I want to share my journey of remembering my grandma, the lessons she left behind, and how I’ve learned to carry her memory with me as I continue to live my life.

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## Remembering Her Life

My grandma was more than just a grandmother; she was a storyteller, a cook, a listener, a teacher, and the heart of our family. Her laugh could light up a room, and she had this uncanny ability to make every person she talked to feel seen and valued.

One of my favorite memories is of sitting with her in the kitchen while she baked cookies. She had this rhythm to her movements—rolling the dough, sprinkling sugar, and humming a tune that she never learned from anyone else. These small moments, now so vivid in my mind, were the simple joys of life.

Her stories were another treasure. She would tell tales of her childhood, of growing up in a time so different from ours, and of the challenges and triumphs she faced. Each story carried wisdom, humor, and a perspective that only comes with years of living. Listening to her was like opening a window into history and into a heart that had seen so much.

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## The Day She Passed

I remember the day she passed with painful clarity. The hospital room felt cold and sterile, a stark contrast to the warmth she always carried. We were all gathered, holding hands, telling her how much we loved her. In her final moments, I felt a mix of sorrow, gratitude, and disbelief.

The grief hit hard and fast. The kind of grief that makes you question the fairness of life, the kind that seems to pause time while your heart struggles to catch up. It wasn’t just losing a family member; it was losing a mentor, a confidante, and a constant source of love.

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## The Grieving Process

Grief is rarely linear. There were days when I could smile at a memory of her and feel comforted, and other days when I would be overwhelmed with sadness, sometimes for no apparent reason.

Over the three years since her passing, I’ve learned that grief doesn’t disappear—it transforms. The sharp edges of the initial pain soften, but the feeling never fully goes away. Instead, it becomes a part of you, a layer of your life that carries both sorrow and love.

### Coping Mechanisms That Helped Me

* **Writing letters to her:** I started writing letters to my grandma. It was a way to speak to her, to share my thoughts and struggles, and to feel connected even when she wasn’t physically present.

* **Keeping her traditions alive:** From her recipes to holiday traditions, keeping these alive in our family brought me comfort. Cooking her favorite meals or telling her stories to younger family members made me feel like she was still with us.

* **Talking about her openly:** Sometimes people avoid talking about those who have passed, thinking it might upset them. I realized that sharing stories, laughing, and remembering her openly helps keep her memory alive.

* **Seeking support:** Grief can be isolating, but talking with friends, family, or even grief counselors helped me navigate the more difficult days.

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## Lessons She Left Behind

Grandmas have a way of teaching lessons that stay with you long after they’re gone. From my grandma, I learned:

1. **Patience is a gift:** She had a calm presence and taught me that rushing through life only makes you miss the small joys.

2. **Kindness matters:** She never judged harshly and always treated others with compassion, no matter the situation.

3. **Family is everything:** Even when times were tough, she prioritized family, love, and connection over everything else.

4. **Finding joy in the simple things:** Whether it was tending her garden, making bread, or watching the sunset, she found contentment in life’s little pleasures.

These lessons aren’t just memories—they are guiding principles that I strive to live by every day.

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## The Role of Memory

Memory is a strange and beautiful thing. Over the past three years, I’ve noticed how memory changes. Some memories are vivid, like photographs that remain sharp in my mind. Others fade but leave behind a feeling rather than details.

I’ve learned to cherish both—the specific and the vague. I remember her voice, her touch, her laughter, even if I can’t recall every story perfectly. These memories become a part of my identity and remind me of who she was and what she meant to me.

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## Living With Her Absence

Her passing has also taught me about resilience and the human ability to adapt. Life goes on, and while her absence is felt every day, I carry her presence in subtle ways.

* When I cook her recipes, I feel her guidance.

* When I face challenges, I hear her advice in my mind.

* When I celebrate milestones, I imagine how proud she would be.

This integration of memory into daily life is a way to honor her while continuing forward.

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## Grief and Time

Three years have passed, but grief doesn’t follow a calendar. Some days feel easier, and some days hit with unexpected force. Anniversaries, birthdays, and holidays can be particularly poignant, reminding me of the moments we shared.

Over time, I’ve realized that grief doesn’t need to be “fixed.” It’s a natural response to loss. Allowing yourself to feel sadness, to cry, or to sit quietly with your thoughts is part of healing. The goal isn’t to stop grieving but to learn to live with it in a healthy way.

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## Connecting With Others

Talking about my grandma with family members has been healing. Sharing stories, laughing about her quirks, or reminiscing about her advice has strengthened our bonds. Sometimes, strangers also become sources of comfort—listening to someone who has experienced a similar loss can normalize the emotions and help you feel less alone.

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## Honoring Her Legacy

One of the most important things I’ve learned is that honoring someone’s memory is an ongoing process. It doesn’t end at the funeral or on the anniversary of their passing.

* **Creating rituals:** Lighting a candle on her birthday or preparing her favorite meal every year keeps her memory alive.

* **Passing on traditions:** Teaching younger family members her recipes, stories, or crafts ensures that her legacy continues.

* **Acts of kindness:** Doing good in her name—helping neighbors, volunteering, or donating—extends her influence into the world.

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## Advice for Others Coping With Loss

For anyone struggling with the loss of a loved one, especially a grandparent, here are some things I’ve found helpful:

1. **Allow yourself to grieve:** Suppressing emotions can make healing harder.

2. **Keep memories alive:** Photos, letters, and stories help maintain connection.

3. **Find your support system:** Family, friends, or counselors can provide guidance and comfort.

4. **Celebrate their life:** Focus not only on the sadness but also on the joy and love they brought.

5. **Be patient with yourself:** Grief is a journey, not a race. Some days will be easier than others.

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## Moving Forward Without Forgetting

Three years after my grandma’s passing, I’ve learned that life is about balance: carrying forward the lessons, memories, and love while continuing to live fully. I feel her influence in the decisions I make, the kindness I extend, and the traditions I maintain.

Though her presence is no longer physical, it remains emotional and spiritual. And that is a gift I will treasure forever.

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## Final Reflections

Losing a grandparent is a profound life event. It changes the way you see the world, the way you understand love, and the way you value family and time. My grandma’s passing three years ago has shaped who I am today—her love, wisdom, and guidance echo in my life every day.

Grief can be overwhelming, but it also reminds us of what truly matters: connection, love, memory, and the way we carry the essence of those we’ve lost into the life we continue to live.

While I still miss her deeply, I also celebrate her life. She lives on in my heart, in my actions, and in the small ways I honor her memory. And that, I believe, is the greatest tribute of all.